Computer Christmas
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Originally Posted by Darlene Esbrandt
T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a program was working not even a browse.
The programmers were wrung out too mindless to care,
Knowing chances of cutover hadn’t a prayer.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
When out in the lobby, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my tube to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a super programmer, oblivious to fear.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
On update! On add! On inquiry! On delete!
On batch jobs! On closing! On functions complete!
His eyes were glazed over, his fingers were lean,
From weekends and nights in front of a screen.
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger on the ‘go’ key,
The system came up and worked perfectly.
The updates, updated; The deletes, they deleted.
The inquiries, inquired; And the closing, completed.
He tested each whistle, and tested each bell
With nary a crash and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded.
The client’s last changes were even included.
And the client exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
“It’s just what I asked for, but it’s not what I want.”
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According to my mother, I could be "Santa", could you?
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